dame el camino que debo seguir

It never gets easier going to Nueva Esperanza and visiting the babies and children that live there. Today was difficult for all of us. Most of our group as I said is new to Honduras and has never seen anything such as the living circumstances in which the children must daily endure and most likely will never have the opportunity to overcome. The weather here has not helped with the mood of all of us. Normally, it is not chilly like now, and there is more sunshine. It has become evident that these characteristics attribute to the low energy and overall dreariness of the day. It is incredibly difficult right now to think about the events of the day. I again spent my time in the baby room because I feel that I can most affectively share my love and compassion there. Since so many people are new I spent a lot of time translating and describing the situations that many of the babies come from. I am thankful to have spent time with Jason also and baby Sofía. All of the babies there are precious, and if I could bring them back with me and care for them I would; however, since that is not possible I will simply have to continue to return here and love them all the more.
I can’t help but think each time I hold them and talk to them and look into their eyes that there is some sort of connection that I will cherish forever. When we left today, I felt overwhelmed with the account of their circumstances. I sat alone on the bus and stared out the window as if my eyes were re-opened to the poverty of this country. I don’t think that we can ever be humbled enough. Just earlier today at the market we spent an hour scavenging for material possessions that we can take home to “remember” this country by, but if we truly wanted to remember this experience shouldn’t we capture the essence of the beauty of the land and the poverty that the majority of people experience daily for all of their lives. I wonder again what my purpose in being a part of this experience is, and how will I use it to make a difference in the future. My role thus far has been to open other’s eyes to diverse conditions and cultural variances, but at the same time I find myself learning. I believe this is how it should be. I never want to feel as though I have done enough because this is my passion and my calling; this is my lifelong destiny, mi camino que debo seguir.
We will be having reflection later this evening, and I am not sure how to lead the discussion, or if it will even be necessary. I hope to sit and listen with an open heart to hear the feelings, emotions, and reactions that others had. This day is never easy, but it is necessary to remind us to be grateful and thankful for our state of wellbeing in the U.S. and move us to not accept the way things are but make a change by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to these sorts of situations.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. “
–Max Planck